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Written by Josh Millard
Year: 1996
Jonnie asked me
If I wanted to stay in the car
She thought that I might be embarrassed
By her feminine protection products

I said
I have two older sisters
And a mother
I'm not afraid of
Pink-wrapped absorbant things

Oh my
This is nothing new to me
Let's tramp on back
To the tampon rack
And see what we can see

We went in
And bee-lined for the menstrual aisle
And I pranced
And danced
And taught those pads to sing
In perfect harmony

Jonnie just laughed
And purchased her blood-collection pads
From the clerk behind the counter
Who'd never seen someone
Use a tampon as a microphone before

Tampon Song

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