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Written by Josh Millard
Year: 1997
Recordings:
Lyrics:
My mother is an amazing person
Whose parents told her she was useless
My mother is the nightmare
That is scripted bullies
My dad is a quiet man
And I've never really known him very deep
My dad can be the nightmare
Of an aching fourteen-year-old son

Same thing happens every year
Give or take a month or two, the tune's the same
She says he needs to grow up
Then she says he needs to be more selfish
And he barely says a thing
And that's his crime
I try to be brilliant when I'm frightened
So I bait her and I trap her
And I wonder how I ever thought
That I knew what was going on
And I'm glad that I screwed up
Because ignorance isn't bliss

And I'd love to tell you more
But I'm afraid my heart is sore
It's funny kids think when they grow up
They'll know all the answers
We think ourselves kind-hearted
But I'm a cynic just for writing this
And maybe sitcoms aren't so bad after all

My biological father lives in Montana
He's a psychologist
Which is, basically
A defense attorney who prosecutes his own clients
He's the kind of man I might've looked up to
If he'd ever given me a reason to
Instead of divorcing my mother
Because he bit off more than he could chew
My sister loves him even though she doesn't want to
And it breaks my heart to see her cry about it
She's an artist
But she doesn't wear somber clothing
And she doesn't smoke
And she doesn't snort cocaine
And I think she'll be famous someday

I saw a funny one the other day
It was the story of a man named Brady
Who had a lovely wife and kids he'd never beat
The house was spotless
And devoid of all the things that make me sad
Like pain
And memories
And confusion
And the way my mother cries
And I said to myself
How perfect
And I put my foot through the screen
That fed me sugar-coated shit
That left me unprepared for this life
Where nothing's perfect
And my parents don't know everything
And I didn't think I'd have to take no for an answer
When it could break me down

Sitcom

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