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Written by Josh Millard
Year: 1997
If I were a computer
I would be full of bugs
If I were a recovering junkie
I would be full of drugs
If I were the night watchman
I would be fast asleep
If I were a charity
I would be trying to keep
My hands on my cash

I think I'm breaking down
I think I'm falling apart
At the
To me I'm made
Of a less stern brand of stuff

If I were the DA
I'd call the defendant a pile of shit
If I were a genius
I'd slice people up with my razor wit
If I were the President
I'd screw the world and then have a bath
If I were metaphysical
I'd pig out on the grapes of wrath
And then spit the seeds in Mankind's face

If I'm a diamond
Then I've lost a little shine
If I'm a phonecall
Then there's no one on the line
If I'm a treasure
Then I'm lost beneath the sand
If I'm your love
Then you've lost me to the land
Of weary lonesome dry-eyed tears

I'd ask you to carry me
But I wouldn't ever want to
Stand up by myself
I hate this
Being by myself


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