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Written by Josh Millard
Year: 1997
Once upon a time
This guy's name is David
But I call him Willie
Just like everyone else
In a land far away
the boy was so lonely
So terribly lonely
Like everyone else

And I said
Now that's a shame
What's a fellow like him
doing all by himself
And we said
Now that's a shame
And we all tried to do
What he hadn't done himself

And we said
David Wilder Schmaltz Needs A Girlfriend
And who said
Maybe that's not what it's about

Beyond the brick road
Lived a temptress named Kacy
The good and wicked witch
of the Emerald Northwest
And over the rainbow
We met at a palace
A blue confabulation
Where discretion regressed

And I said
Now here's a sad story
Poor Willie
He hasn't a girl for his own
And she said
It just isn't fair
But maybe we'll fix him
And he won't be alone

And she said
David Wilder Schmaltz Needs A Girlfriend
And who ever thought
That we're not quite so bright
And the lights in our heads
Might not help us to see

David Wilder Schmaltz
You could have it all
Don't you want to be the page
In the book
That everyone else
Says you should read

And we said
David Wilder Schmaltz Needs A Girlfriend
And nobody said
That'd we'd ever be wrong
To play dolls
And what's a life here or there

He said
Once upon a time
This girl's name was Margaret
I loved Margaret the angel
But she didn't love me back
In a land far away
I couldn't let go
No I couldn't let go
Of the monkey on my back

And he said
But Margaret is history
Music in the background
A refrain of Yesterday
And he said
I'll live my own life
If a new girl is out there
She might just be
And smiling
And wanting
From ten feet away

And we said
David Wilder Schmaltz Needs A Girlfriend
And he said
Did anyone bother to think
That perhaps she'd need me

David Wilder Schmaltz Needs A Girlfriend

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